What a blessing!

I have to admit...I still wasn't completely sure that I should 100% be homeschooling my children. You know...we all have our weak moments.. usually after my mental meltdown...is this really what God wants me to do? To be with my children all day when I can be like this????


Well, this first week has been pretty stinkin....GREAT!


Well, it wasn't all perfect but it was the answer that God gave me that made it so great. I always had the feeling that I wasn't really spending "time" with my children even though I was a stay-at-home mom. I mainly did the things that I needed to do to make the house run smooth and care for my family (which also has its own importance), made plans of one sort or another so I could run all over the place with my kids in tow, and then I would come up with more things for me to do while feeling like the kids were sometimes in the way. What a completely different feeling I have had this past week since we started. I have been devoting 2+ hours each day with them...NOT while trying to do a million other things (like check my Facebook or emails) but just with them. We work on handwriting, coloring, counting, reading, etc but it's just us and no other distractions. I know God was trying to tell me this is what I was missing out on...my children! 


The other feeling I have had was that I was not the same organized freak fiend and disciplined person I used to be when I was teaching. I felt somewhat lazy and couldn't get myself together unless it was down to crunch time and then I usually would be a mess...especially towards my family. This has been a feeling I have had going on almost 5 years now! Lately, I have gotten the organizing groove back and even my discipline...waking up before the kids so I could be ready and also have alone time before starting my day. What a difference it has made in my attitude. Who knows...maybe I will even throw time for exercise in there one of these days???
But I have found that since I have organized my day better (because if I didn't, I would not be able to teach and run a household), I have been able to get A LOT more done or at least I am better at prioritzing what needs to get done instead of feeling either like"I need to get it all done" or "I give up! There's just too much to do."  Confession: When we got back from our trip to Destin, I let the rings in my toilet sit there for almost another week before I got to them because there was more pressing things to do...like start homeschooling. Right when we got back home from Maine in July, I cleaned every toilet in the house because I couldn't stand the rings and it was way past my bedtime. I know...but I am working on it. It's a great feeling not to be controlled by your housework. I will try to remember that more often ;)


My homeschool friends made fun of me because they thought I needed a homeschool intervention. With being gone so much this summer, they thought I had holed myself up in my house to make sure everything was perfect for my homeschool before I would even start. Yes, I can be a little OCD...I have the "clear the table off before I can get started" syndrome. But I realized that I can not have every little plan and laminated card in place before I begin to teach my children. I have a (somewhat clear) goal of what we are doing this year and I can improvise and create as we go along. AND it's fun because there's not a whole lot of pressure on me or the kids. We even get to cuddle during Calendar time...C-Bear and E-Pie LOVE that.


I just know that God has sent me an answer to the uneasy feelings that I have had. No, I don't have everything about homeschooling figured out yet but I am trying not to fret over the small stuff. I am relying on God to guide me through each day and I hope that I remember to look to him every day for everything that I need. I know that I will enjoy, I mean really enjoy this time with my kids who are growing up too fast for me. Yes, I will still have the rough/bad/crazy days but that's ok, too. I know this is where I am meant to be for now.


~ H